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* Self Improvement and Personal Growth Weekly Newsletter *
Issue #776, Week of July 22-23, 2013
Publisher: David Riklan - http://www.SelfGrowth.com
In this issue:
-- Quotes of the Week
-- Recommended Resource of the Week
-- Article: The 3 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make to Kill the Passion - By Jan Robinson and Lucas Lehman
-- Article: 10 Secrets to Expressing Yourself with Confidence - By Tricia Greaves
-- Book Review: Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting - By Dr. Wayne W. Dyer
-- Inspirational News Story of the Week
-- How to Subscribe and Unsubscribe from this Newsletter
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*** Quotes of the Week ***
------------------------------------------------------------ A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds. - Francis Bacon, 1561-1626 All know that the drop merges into the ocean but few know that the ocean merges into the drop. - Kabir, 1440-1518 He lives long that lives well; and time misspent is not lived but lost. - Thomas Fuller, 1608-1661
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*** Recommended Resource of the Week ***
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* Free Numerology Report - Your Name Is No Accident * 
| See why the shocking truth in your Numerology Chart cannot tell a lie! This is a blast to use and you will be stunned by what you find out about yourself. Just Input Your Name & Birthday Here. |
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*** Article: The 3 Biggest Mistakes Couples Make to Kill the Passion - By Jan Robinson and Lucas Lehman ***
------------------------------------------------------------ Passion is energizing and inspiring, a great big wonderful "YES!" that fills life with a sense of greatness and purpose. When you have passion, life is fun and juicy. In relationship, passion is a deeply affirmative force. When there's passion--for one another, for spending time together, for making love--you feel loved, accepted, cherished and desired. You feel on top of the world and you love it! Every relationship has a honeymoon phase that's filled with passion. You're absolutely crazy about each other. You can't get enough of one another. You gaze into each other's eyes as you plan romantic dates and getaways. The relationship is fun, exciting, full of magic and . . . hot! The months and years go by, though, and the delight and deliciousness fades into the background of everyday life. If you and your partner are making any of these 3 critical mistakes, passion doesn't stand a chance. Evaluation Quiz: 1. Has life become so busy and demanding that there is no time or energy for lovemaking? 2. Are the male/female differences that once drew you together now driving you crazy? 3. Do you judge your partner (and/or yourself) too often? If you answered even one "yes," read on. MISTAKE #1: Don't Have Time/Energy for Love A strong, fulfilling love relationship is one life's most precious gifts. It reduces stress, keeps you healthy, lifts your spirits, energizes and boosts confidence. It creates a happy, harmonious atmosphere at home for your children as well. We all want that, right? But often in the race to keep up with daily life, intimacy with our mate falls to the bottom of our to-do list. Something to enjoy when we can squeeze in the time, and rally the energy. A relationship is like a beautiful garden. It needs love and attention to continue to grow and flourish. Without regular, nurturing attention, weeds (aka, resentments) creep in, and love becomes a sad memory of what it once was. TIP #1: Invest in Your Relationship You invest in your retirement portfolio. You invest in your home. Why wouldn't you invest in your most valuable asset--your love life? It's easy. Schedule regular love-investment activities. Life is so busy we need to schedule important events in our day planners to make sure we remember to show up. Lovemaking isn't any different. Keep a standing date for intimacy. Write it down. And keep going on fun dates, too. If they're gone from your life, the chemistry and excitement you knew in the early days will disappear, too. Great lovemaking is about feeling connected to your partner, outside the bedroom as well as in. Find those moments when you can be lovingly present together, no matter how briefly. Consider creating "magic moments"--in the morning when you first wake up, before you head out for the day, when you arrive home, before going to bed. Make it a ritual you both look forward to. Look into each other's eyes as you say "I love you." Leave a surprise note in your partner's briefcase or handbag. Send a flirtatious email, or a naughty text message. Greet your partner with a hug that lasts long enough to slow down and really feel each other's presence. Whatever feels right--just don't let a day go by without recognizing the gift that you are in each other's life. MISTAKE #2: Not Appreciating the Differences Between the Sexes The sexual polarity between you and your mate is the attractive force that originally brought you together. And that same polarity later drives couples crazy, and drives them apart. He wants sex; she wants to cuddle. She wants pillow talk; he wants some ZZZs. For women, sexual desire does not begin with a desire for sex. Rather, it evolves out of an experience of emotional closeness and intimacy. For men, typically, the reverse is true. Desire begins with a craving for sex and then evolves into greater depth of emotional intimacy. These two different sexual tracks are responsible for much of the relationship tension, sexual frustration, and lack of fulfillment that couples experience. TIP #2: Learn to Understand and Appreciate Masculine and Feminine
The differences between the sexes remain a source of conflict only when those differences are misunderstood or unappreciated. Ultimately, men and women want the same things--to feel loved, safe, desired, fulfilled, and totally turned on! What men and women need to feel that way can be very different. One of the biggest mistakes in bed is giving to your partner what you might want yourself. Often, that is the opposite of what will work. When a man knows that touching his woman's heart is the key to igniting her passion, and sees the positive results of his actions, he will be much more likely to find the pleasure in surprising her with flowers, or asking how her day went--and really listening. Conversely, when a woman realizes that the path to her man's heart is through his loins, she is more likely to delight in treating him to sexy play that she initiates. Understanding and appreciating how sex is different for men and women goes a long way towards building relationship harmony and inspiring passionate desire! But remember, each man and each woman is an individual. There is no "normal" and no "usual." You have to discover the specific way to touch your partner's heart. MISTAKE #3: Judging and Criticizing It's human nature to evaluate, compare, contrast, judge and criticize. We all do it all the time. "Why can't you remember to leave the toilet seat down?"
"You used to get dressed up for me."
"Can't you just hold me without always wanting sex?" Judgment is often so automatic that we're often not even aware of it. It can show up as criticism, conflict, resentment, anger, bitterness, self-doubt, comparison, shame, guilt, depression and dissatisfaction. And these feelings can become chronic. Judgment is negation. It is the opposite of love, which is acceptance. In intimate relationship, the "NO" of judgment undermines our ability to tap into the "YES" of love and passion. They literally cancel each other out. What can we do? TIP #3: Acknowledge and Appreciate While nothing kills passion faster than judgment and criticism, nothing builds passion faster than acknowledgment and appreciation. "I love it when you rub my shoulders."
"Your laughter is one of my favorite sounds in the world."
"It was really great that you cooked dinner tonight. Thank you." Become mindful of any tendencies to judge and criticize, and refocus your attention to something you appreciate about your partner. Find opportunities to offer heartfelt compliments. Look for even simple opportunities to express appreciation. "Thanks for holding the door for me." Scientists at the Relationship Research Institute in Seattle, Washington discovered a mathematical model that predicts with 94% accuracy which marriages will end in divorce. They found that happy couples have at least a 5:1 ratio between positive interactions and negative interactions. For every one criticism or negative comment, there were at least five compliments. That's the magic ratio. With 5 to 1 odds, passion wins.
** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
Jan Robinson and Lucas Lehman are Professional Tantra Educators and Intimacy Coaches. They have supported hundreds of committed couples breakthrough the barriers to intimacy and bring deeper meaning, excitement, and fulfillment to their sexual love lives. Learn more at http://www.rejuvenateyourlovelife.com. * Free Numerology Report - Your Name Is No Accident *
| See why the shocking truth in your Numerology Chart cannot tell a lie! This is a blast to use and you will be stunned by what you find out about yourself. Just Input Your Name & Birthday Here. | ------------------------------------------------------------
*** Article: 10 Secrets to Expressing Yourself with Confidence - By Tricia Greaves ***
------------------------------------------------------------ For too many years I suffered from a bad case of "approval-seeking." I was desperate for validation from others. I never wanted to risk stating how I felt about things for fear that it would rock the boat and cause conflict. As a result, I saw myself as a victim of others' mistreatment or neglect, when the truth was that I was really just a victim of my own fear: I WAS AFRAID TO BE ME. Living my life dependent on the opinion of others was my prescription for inner turmoil, depression, addiction, and chaos. Learning to value my own opinions and desires has had a ripple effect through every area of my life: I am free to be myself, and in turn I can allow others to be whomever and however they choose to be. Here are some important lessons to remember as you learn to find and express your own inner voice: 1. How you feel and what you need are just as important as the feelings and needs of others. Instead of always dismissing your ideas and feelings as "not that important," you need to value them and see that you are equal to all others. WHAT YOU FEEL AND THINK IS WORTHY OF BEING HEARD. 2. You will not die from saying how you feel. At one time I believed that either I would die, or others would die from hearing my honest feelings and opinions (I am not talking about being hurtful.) Only by practicing speaking up have I learned that this is not the case at all. Not only did I not die, I have become empowered. 3. You will not die if someone disagrees with your decisions. I thought I would crumble without the approval of others, but when I was willing to feel the initial uncomfortable feelings I experienced when others did not agree with or like my decisions, I got stronger and the fear of such feelings got weaker. 4. When you follow your own heart, people around you may at first be uncomfortable, but THEY ADJUST! It amazed me that no matter how threatened others were with the "new me," when I persisted in doing what was right for me, they eventually settled down and got used to my new ways; in fact, they even respected me for them! 5. By being true to yourself, and thriving on account of it, you are setting an example that will inspire others to step out and make changes. Your gift to yourself of changing is also a gift to others. 6. It is no one's responsibility to read you mind. YOU MUST SPEAK UP! You can't blame others for not doing it "your way" when you are not even willing to express yourself and what you want! Change means letting go of the games of pouting and making others feel bad for not reading your mind. I no longer feel "misunderstood," because I speak up and give others an opportunity to understand me! 7. Resentments come from not speaking up and being heard. Resentments erode your soul and your health. Discuss your feelings until you feel resolved and then MOVE ON. 8. Practice listening to others. I was so busy obsessing about my own feelings, what I wanted to say, and how others would receive me that I did not pay close attention to the ideas and feelings of others. When I put aside thoughts about me, and truly listened to others, I found that others began to truly listen to me! 9. "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don't say it mean." The tendency for people who are afraid of being honest and forthright is to build up so much fear and resentment, that they blurt out their feelings, often offending others with the force of their delivery. Practice saying what you mean in a direct way, with kindness and respect. 10. Give yourself permission to be awkward as you begin to speak up. This is not an easy transition to make. Know that at first you may stumble over your words, you may not get your point across, and that others may not like your speaking up. Just because others may not agree with what you say does not mean that your beliefs are wrong. Don't apologize for your opinion: "This may be a stupid thing to say, but..." Or, after they express a difference of opinion, don't backpedal by saying, "You're right, I'm wrong; I don't know what I was thinking." HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH! Everyone respects people who risk being the minority voice. And you will be surprised to find that often others will join you and you will become the majority voice. Self-esteem comes from taking risks and being YOU, not from the approval of others. So speak up, and notice how many people begin to listen up! ** To comment on this article or to read comments about this article, go here.
About the Author:
Having lost 50 lbs. through identifying and addressing the underlying causes of her emotional eating, Tricia Greaves founded Heal Your Hunger an online resource which offers hope and healing for emotional eaters worldwide. Tricia is also the director of The Greaves Foundation for those with nowhere else to turn for help with eating disorders, obesity and addictions. Tricia is the author of many articles on emotional eating, eating disorders, healthy weight loss and addictions. She is also the contributing author of 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Health and the popular Thank God I book series in which she writes a chapter called, "Thank God I Was Fat." To learn more and to register for your free "HYH JumpStart Kit," visit http://healyourhunger.com.
* Free Numerology Report - Your Name Is No Accident *
| See why the shocking truth in your Numerology Chart cannot tell a lie! This is a blast to use and you will be stunned by what you find out about yourself. Just Input Your Name & Birthday Here. | ------------------------------------------------------------
*** Book Review: Wishes Fulfilled: Mastering the Art of Manifesting - By Dr. Wayne W. Dyer ***
------------------------------------------------------------ This book is dedicated to your mastery of the art of realizing all your desires. The greatest gift you have been given is the gift of your imagination. Everything that now exists was once imagined. And everything that will ever exist must first be imagined. Wishes Fulfilled is designed to take you on a voyage of discovery, wherein you can begin to tap into the amazing manifesting powers that you possess within you and create a life in which all that you imagine for yourself becomes a present fact. Dr. Wayne W. Dyer explores, for the first time, the region of your highest self; and definitively shows you how you can truly change your concept of yourself, embark upon a God-realized way of living, and fulfill the spiritual truth that with God all things are possible--and "all things" means that nothing is left out. By practicing the specific technique for retraining your subconscious mind, you are encouraged to not only place into your imagination what you would like to manifest for yourself, but you are given the specifics for realigning your life so you can live out your highest calling and stay connected to your Source of being. From the lofty perspective of your highest self, you will learn how to train your imagination in a new way. Your wishes--all of them--can indeed be fulfilled. By using your imagination and practicing the art of assuming the feeling of your wishes being fulfilled, and steadfastly refusing to allow any evidence of the outer world to distract you from your intentions, you will discover that you, by virtue of your spiritual awareness, possess the ability to become the person you were destined to be. This book will help you See--with a capital S--that you are divine, and that you already possess an inner, invisible higher self that can and will guide you toward a mastery of the art of manifestation. You can attain this mastery through deliberate conscious control of your imagination!
*****
The list price of this book is $24.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com at a price of $14.97, a 40% discount, go here.
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*** Inspirational News Story of the Week ***
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* Fourth Graders Rally to Bring Deported Classmate Home *
No matter how you feel about the immigration debate in America, there is no debate about how significantly current policies can affect some of the youngest members of society. Go here for the complete news story. | 
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